Miss Bennet is still ill and her sister is still here. Today we had the pleasure of being called on by Mrs Bennet and two of the younger Miss Bennets. Mrs Bennet of course found her daughter too ill to be moved, the apothecary agreed, and Charles did not even want to consider moving Miss Bennet until she is fully recovered.

I do feel sorry for Charles who had to listen to Mrs Bingley’s chatter about this and that. I tried not to interfere, but when the subject came Miss Bennet’s finding it interesting to study people’s character, I could not be silent anymore. Her mother was horrified at her daughter’s openness, not entirely without cause. But I had to comment on her finding it so amusing when there is so little variety in a small community such as Hertfordshire. Of course she did not agree, neither did Mrs Bennet who was happy to inform me that they do dine with four and twenty families. At this I caught Miss Bingley’s eyes and she let me know just what she thought about that in one glance. And Miss Bennet looked mortified. I do feel for her. Her mother is actually quite horrible.

To elaborate on that subject some more, when Miss Bennet asked if her friend Miss Lucas had been to see them, Mrs Bingley commented that it was such a shame that Miss Lucas was so plain, and after that, of course, complimenting her own daughter’s beauty. Miss Bennet looked as if she wanted to disappear, and I cannot blame her. That woman really needs to learn how to hold her tongue. Mrs Bennet went on to boast about a suitor that had written a poem to Miss Jane Bennet, but never proposed. Elizabeth Bennet said the affections ended with the poetry. I said that I had always thought poetry the food of love. She did not agree, of course, but said anything nourishes a healthy, strong love, but if it were a mere infatuation, a good sonnet would starve it. At this I smiled, and made no more comment on the subject. I could feel her eyes on me, but I never met her gaze.

I removed myself from the company and stood instead by the window. I did not feel inclined to follow the conversation any more.

Later, when Mrs Bennet and her daughters had left, and Miss Bennet had returned to her sister, Miss Bingley tried to lure me into conversation by uttering some witticism about Miss Bennet’s fine eyes. Miss Bingley and her sister greatly remarked how the Bennets had behaved. Especially the youngest who had dared to point out that Charles had promised to host a ball. Charles did not take this back, being a man of his word and all, and said that Lydia herself should name the date when her sister was well again.

It is unfortunate that the Miss Bennets should come from such relations…

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Miss Bennet is still very ill. It bothers me some that Miss Elizabeth Bennet is here. She is very opinionated. Though she has been in her sister’s room most of the day, she came down this evening. She preferred reading to cards, which brought surprise to Mr Hurst and Caroline especially. Caroline made a comment saying Elizabeth despised cards and only took pleasure in reading and nothing else. To this Elizabeth, looking slightly amused, answered that she took pleasure in many things. I think Caroline is a little bit jealous of the lady in question and takes every opportunity to show herself superior to her.

I prefer reading to cards any day, myself. Bingley was ready to scurry off and get her more books, but she said she was satisfied. Caroline then complimented me on my library at Pemberley, which has been a work in progress for generations, so it ought to provide a great variation in books. She also declared she wished Charles’ future home be half as delightful as Pemberley. Charles’ said it might be easier just to buy it from me, than imitate it elsewhere. As if I would ever sell my family home.

Caroline asked about my sister, if she had much grown since the spring. I realised Georgiana must be the same height as Miss Bennet or rather a bit taller. Not as tall as Caroline. I aired this thought and was pleased to see Caroline annoyed when I compared my sister to Elizabeth rather than to her. My sister is a very accomplished girl, and Caroline told Elizabeth this, praising my sister in every way. Elizabeth had long since laid down her book and was listening to our discourse, her dark eyes glittering with interest. I think it was my remark on her height that reeled her in. Charles commented on how accomplished young women of today were and then the discussion took that direction.

In my opinion a woman must know certain things to be called accomplished. I am pretty sure I know not more than half a dozen truly accomplished ladies. Miss Bennet said that I must comprehend a great deal in my idea of an accomplished woman. Caroline answered in my stead, naming the qualities I would look for. I only added that I thought she must improve her mind with extensive reading. For that comment I was awarded a small smile and it made me feel a little silly. I am sure she does not think I care for her, and should not. But still I feel like I have to take care of her. Then Elizabeth said that she was surprised that I knew six such women, let alone any. She had never seen a woman with all those qualities combine. Caroline and Louisa assured her that they knew many and thought her very unjust in her remark. Soon after that Elizabeth bid us good night and returned upstairs.

Caroline aired her opinion as soon as the door had closed after her. Saying she was one of those who tried to recommend herself to the other sex by undervalue her own. She considers it a very mean art. I said that there is meanness i all the arts which ladies sometimes stoop to use for interest.

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She has arrived. Miss Elizabeth Bennet has come to care for her sister. The doctor claimes Miss Bennet is too ill to be moved. She notified her family at Longbourn so it was really only a matter of time before someone came to check on her.

I happened to be the one to have the honour to welcome her to Netherfield. She came on foot, despite of muddy roads. Her curls were wilder than usual, her cheeks flushed because of the exercise, her petticoat and shoes were muddy. She was all and all dazzling. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst discussed her spectacle in great detail. They could not understand why on earth someone would walk for miles on dirty roads just because her sister was ill. Of course, I would never let my sister do anything remoatly like that, but it does show a particular sisterly affection. Caroline went as far as to state that Elizabeth’s behaviour would have affect my admiration for her fine eyes. I assured her of the contrary, Elizabeth looked remarkably well.

Miss Bennet would not hear of her sister leaving, so Elizabeth stays. I think Charles is the only one who is happy about that. I do not care for the affect her presence is having on me.

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Jane Bennet is here. She has taken ill. Her parents were thoughtless enough to send her here on horseback! They must have foreseen the change in weather. Not that I accuse Mrs Bennet for being the cleverest person in the world, but I would have thought Mr Bennet more sensible. At least sensible enough not to send his daughter on horseback when it looked like raining. I was apparently wrong. I would never expose my sister of something similar.

The doctor has been sent for and the lady is in bed. The Bingley siblings take turns to sit by her. A fever and headache is what she suffers from. She will not be sent home until she is well. I am praying for a quick recovery.

I do not know if I am supposed to be offended or not… Miss Elizabeth Bennet refused to dance with me today. Which really only proves that she heard what I said the other day. So I guess I should not be offended, even if my pride might be slightly hurt. Against my will I am intrigued. I found myself wanting to get to know this woman.

I have earlier stated that she was merely tolerable, there was nothing tempting at all about her. But the last time I have noticed that her dark eyes shine with a special intelligence and wit. Tonight I studied her more intently. Without thinking I find myself always close to her. I want to hear what she has to say.

Tonight it went so far that she directly accused me of eavesdropping, which had not been my intention at all. She forced me into a discussion regarding her choice of words in her attempts to persuade Colonel Forster into having a ball. The only response I found was that she expressed such energy that was to be expected from a young lady speaking of a ball.

The Colonel was persuaded, by the way, especially since his young wife was thrilled by the idea. After that one of the younger Miss Bennets took her place by the piano forte. Quite soon she was persuaded to play something easier to dance to. Shortly the two youngest of the Bennets were found dancing with the officers that was present. I was conversing with Sir William Lucas about this and that. About St James’s court, if I had a house in town and so on. When Elizabeth came toward us he tried to convince me to dance with her. Said something about not refuse to dance with such beauty before me. When she stood there in front of me, with her eyes planted on me I could not deny my attraction any longer. I head myself asking her to dance. But she politely declined. It really should not bother me that much. Now I got the pleasure of study her some more. Especially her dark, glittering eyes.

Miss Caroline Bingley disturbed me in my thoughts. She believed herself being able to tell what I was so deep in thought about, which was the tediousness of being force to spend an evening in such rural company. I told her that my mind was much lighter than that. You should have seen her astonished face when I complimented Elizabeth Bennet’s fine eyes. I thought she would faint. Very amusing indeed. I did convince her that my heart still was secure and I was not about to marry into the Bennet family.

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My friend is in love. Head over heels. The woman is of course beautiful, but has no breeding, no connections and is entirely depended on a successful marriage. Charles appears not to see this side of it. I am not saying that Miss Bennet is only after his money, but I fail to see traces of an infatuation on her face. Something has to be done. I am confident that his sisters will take my side if it comes to that.

Caroline amuses herself with discussing every one in the village. Their lack of breeding, lack of fashion sense and so on. She finds it very amusing. I suspect it makes her feel more superior than she is. I believe that she in secret is happy that I have not found any of Hertfordshire’s ladies tempting yet. She almost tried to convince me that Elizabeth Bennet was pretty. She has a reputation of being the belle of the county after all. But I pretty sure that it was her mother that started that rumour.

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I guess that we have now debuted into Meryton society, how ever much that will matter… Charles was thrilled to attend the Ball at the Assembly rooms. I do not think he sat for one dance all night. Perhaps it was not something easily done with all the ladies set on marriage there.

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And the Bennet daughters were there. All five of them. The eldest was handsome, I must admit, but the rest… Not that impressed actually. Apparently the second eldest, Elizabeth, is supposed to be the belle of the county. I cannot agree. I saw little beauty in her face. Charles preferred Miss Jane Bennet, the eldest, much to her mother’s pleasing.

I am, however, pretty sure I did not impress on anyone. I was not in a social mood and only stood up to dance with Charles’ sisters. Charles tried to make me dance a couple of times, apparently he was embarrassed by my asocial behaviour. I am fairly sure I hurt a certain Miss Bennet’s feelings when I pointed out that Charles was dancing with the only beauty there. Too late I discovered that she was sitting not far from us and by the look of her face she had heard it all. I might have said something in the lines of “She is not handsome enough to tempt me.” And more over, she was slighted by other men. I do not dance with people I do not know.

Occasionally I envy Charles’ easy going nature. It is so easy for him to talk to strangers and he makes friends where ever he goes. I have a hard time letting people in, and trust them.

We have arrived safety and settled in at Netherfield. I have to say that the house is above and beyond my expectations. Even if the immediate area leaves a bit to be wanting, I might be persuaded to like it, at least for a short while. The hunting grounds look very promising at least.

It is most amusing to see all the expectant fathers that have been here call, in hopes of it being their daughter that catches Charles’s eye. It has been said that the Bennet’s daughters are the prettiest in the country. We will have to see about that. Apparently they are not a family of high standing or with any wealth to speak of. So it is highly unlikely that any of them shall catch me or Charles.

Charles’s sister and I share the same view in this matter. It is in Charles’s nature to think good of everyone. He cannot see the same problems as me and his sisters. At least I will be safe.

Without any luck, me and Bingley’s sisters have tried to change his mind about Netherfield Park. A beautiful and comfortable house to be sure, but situated in the wrong place. I do not see why he has to go to the country side? And to drag us, very unwillingly, with him. I much rather stay in London. Of course it is nice to get out in to the country once in a while, but the society lacks a bit of the qualities that I am looking for. Charles will not see reason. And so, to Hertfordshire we go!

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